Facing Your Fears

Last weekend was my first official event back from retirement. I have not played golf competitively in six years and I have not played in a tour event in six and a half years - now that is a long time! I did not realize that it had been so long until I read it in an article that came out in Brazil and had to do a double take... it’s CRAZY!!!!

I was extremely nervous and truly scared to get back onto the green at the Florida's Natural Charity Classic in Lake Wales, Florida. And, despite trying to block out negative thoughts, these little moments of doubt kept running through my mind:

"What if I shoot a huge number?”
“What if I run out of golf balls?”
“What if I land the ball in a bunker and can't hit it out?"

Well, to be perfectly honest, it was not my best event. Some may even say it was a failure. I was so hoping to play all three days and unfortunately I did not make the cut to play on Sunday. However, I cannot let that steal my focus. I have chosen to take the positive aspects of my week and to use them going forward.

I learned…
That my physical abilities are rusty, but by no means gone.
That I need to work on my routine, especially when it comes to putting.
That most of the girls competing with me were not even born when I started to play - sad but true!
That not making the cut did not mean that I got the day off on Sunday... instead, I had the even harder task of facing Magic Kingdom weekend crowds with a two year old. (Side note: I am still confused as to why we agreed at 11pm on Saturday night to go to Disney the next morning with no prior planning!)

Most importantly, I learned that I still have the fire inside of me to compete and have to continue to fan it by persevering.

And so I move forward, closer to achieving my goal now that I have faced the fear of playing in my first event. I have two weeks off and then it’s on to the next one, but for now I’m back to Boston (and the cold) for a few days!!!!